Finding Peace Through the Fragmented Family Lens w/ Mariam Ernest

As the holidays are approaching, we realize that not every person is close to their family so it can be particularly difficult to be in the "holiday spirit" when the only thing holidays represent are what they don't have or what they previously had, but has now lost.  Family Estrangement and Fragmented Families are a topic that rarely is discussed, but affects all social classes, genders, race, etc. 

In this episode, I had the pleasure of speaking with Mariam Ernest, where she discusses the how Family Estrangement can be intergenerational and as parents, if we aren't being careful, we could be potentially creating a pattern for future family estrangement within our children. We also discussed:
- The Emotional and Pyschological Effects of Voluntary and Involuntary Estrangement
- The Commonalities of Estrangement in Women
- How Estrangement Affects Other Relationships
- Steps to Identify Peace in Fragmented Families

Key Quotes/Takeaways

"Family estrangement knows no class, knows no race, knows no economic status, nothing.  It cuts across everything." - Mariam Ernest

"I think there's something about us human beings when we perceive that we've been rejected. It literally does something to our brain. It alters our perception in how we view, how we think about ourself and other people. It literally changes into who we're letting into our life." - Mariam Ernest

"This group [family estrangement] is fighting against a narrative which is the narrative of a happy family." - Mariam Ernest

"If you don't come back to yourself, now you're gonna be judging everyone from the lens of the trespass that you've endured. Everyone is going to become the victim of what that person did. - Mariam Ernest

"If you don't change the pattern, you stay in anger and bitterness. Neither of which add any transformational value." - Mariam Ernest

"If you don't deal with them [patterns of anger and bitterness], if you don't pass them back, you pass them on." - Mariam Ernest

"A lot of times when the peace is disrupted, it's a direct reflection of your identity and how you're viewing yourself." - Patrice Grimes

"You're bracing yourself of what's to come, but you also rob yourself of the present moment." - Patrice Grimes

"We grow with the uncomfortableness.  We never really grow by denying other people's truth, even ourselves. - Mariam Ernest

Rapid Value Questions

What's one thing you like to do to sustain or reset your peace?
- Meditate and exercise

Name one book or song that's helped you to define peace?
- The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
- The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer

How do you define peace for yourself now?
-Harmonious relationships with myself and with others.

Fill In the Blank:
- My name is Mariam and without peace, i'm more likely to retreat, more likely to disconnect, more likely to internalize things I shouldn't, but with peace, I'm more resilient.

LINKS:
Engage with Patrice/Inquiries/Booking
https://sociatap.com/ThePeaceCurator/

Engage with Mariam:
IG: RecoveryFromFragmentedFamilies
Forgiveness Journal by Mariam Ernest