[EM]Bracing for Impact: Breaking Teen Mom Generational Curses to Birth Generational Blessings w/ Roberta Axson

As we continue our [EM]Bracing for Impact Series, and how we transform conflict to peace with our children, it's important to discuss when our children make choices that not only impact themselves, but another human life they are now responsible for.
 
In this episode, TeenMoms2 Beyond Founder, Roberta Axson, shares her personal journey as a teen mom, and why it was important for her to accept the assignment of breaking the generational curse and make choices that would change the direction of her life.  Additionally, we discuss:
- Perceived Fear Tactics Communicated By Teen Moms
- The Necessity to Revisit the Past to Identify Strategies to Change the Cycle
- Sex Education in the School System
- Signs/Suggested Timeframe to Discuss Sex with Your Children
- Forgiving Yourself as a Teen Mom
- Having "Destiny Dialogues" to Push Forth Change in the Next Generation

Key Quotes/Takeaways:
"I just believe in being able to come to the table, being able to invite my children to the table, and have those conversations of what we can do better as a family. What didn't work or what's not working and then being able to be the solution to those problems or those issues." - Roberta

We can't be afraid to ask them [our children] what they need, and not be shocked at their response. i think sometimes, the fear of the unknown is why we put up the smoke screens and not dissect what is needed." - Roberta

"I couldn't show up for him and give him me, because I couldn't give me, me." - Roberta

"When you think about generational curses, they are rooted in generations from our forefathers, the ancestors, and we only know sometimes what's before us or maybe just a generation behind us. But we are still held responsible of what came before that, and that's why the forgiveness and the healing has to be a daily decision. -Roberta

"We don't generally have those conversations because it really calls to the forefront the things that we likely may have already believed in ourselves anyways.  It potentially affirms what we already thought." - Patrice

"We talk about generational curses, but you create a new generational blessing by opening up those dialogues that can be passed on." - Patrice

"Oftentimes, when we are evolving, we want people to evolve or be accepting of us on our timeline, not giving people the space to come into terms, to review the perspective, to kind of look at it from a different lens, in their own space." - Patrice

"I couldn't grow in pride." - Roberta

"We self-sabatoge our own peace by not allowing people to support us or asking for the help when we know we need it. It doesn't make us less of a person, it doesn't make us any less of a mother, it doesn't make us any less of a wife, it doesn't make us any less of a co-worker. We are still phenomenally us, even if we're getting the support." - Patrice

Rapid Value Questions

What is one thing you like to do to sustain or reset your peace?
- Sleep and write

Name one book or song that's helped you to define peace.
- Starting Here Today by Roberta Axson

How do you define peace for yourself now?
- Being still.

Fill in the blank:
My name is Roberta Axson and without peace, I'd probably be lost, but with peace, I am free.
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LINKS:
Engage with Patrice/Inquiries:
www.sociatap.com/ThePeaceCurator

Connect with Roberta:
Instagram: ra_axson

Chapters

• 8:10 The Assignment to Break the Cycle of a Teen Mom
• 12:00 Perceived Fear Tactics by Teen Moms
• 16:25 Revisiting the Past to Identify Strategies to Change the Cycle
• 20:15 The Adequacy of Sex Education in the School System
• 26:57 Signs/Suggested Timeframe to Discuss Sex with Children
• 30:10 Forgiving Yourself as a Teen Mom
• 35:30 Destiny Dialogues to Push Forth Change in the New Generation
• 40:15 Final Tips to Transform Teen Mom Related Conflict to Peace
• 47:05 Rapid Value Questions
• 52:45 Teen Mom Statistics & Concluding Thoughts

Transcript

8:10 - "I had my first son at 15, and then my mom had me at 16. Basically, I was continuing a generational curse, but then I realized I was assigned to BREAK that curse." - Roberta

8:31 - "That's when I went on the pursuit to understand, yes this happened to me, but this is not going to be my story of receiving pity and walking in shame for the rest of my life. So i began to make choices that was going to give me a different direction in life." - Roberta

9:34 - "It takes one. When I think about when we change nations and change generations, it just takes one person. When i realized it was going to be me, I accepted the challenge." - Roberta

12:00 Perceived Fear Tactics of Former Teen Moms

14:01 - "I shared the journey because he was in the journey with me. So, I did use the fear tactics to some degree, but I also allowed him to make choices that would benefit who he was becoming." - Roberta

16:25 Revisiting the Past to Identify Strategies to Change the Cycle

18:34 - "For me, it's being able to trust my vulnerability even with my mother, and to be able to have those conversations where I feel some things could've been avoided." - Roberta

19:01 - "That generation to where we're shamed, and everybody knows what's going on but as long as we didn't say it outside of the house, then we can keep our secrets." - Roberta

19:17 - "I just believe in being able to come to the table, being able to invite my children to the table, and have those conversations of what we can do better as a family. What didn't work or what's not working and then being able to be the solution to those problems or those issues." - Roberta

20:15 - The Adequacy of Sex Education in the School System

21:50 - "We can't be afraid to ask them what they need, and not be shocked at their response. i think sometimes, the fear of the unknown is why we put up the smoke screens and not dissect what is needed." - Roberta

26:43 - It's not something that you can avoid, but it's having those conversations to prepare, rather than be reactive or be aggressive or upset when/if it occurs." - Patrice

26:57 - Signs or Suggested Timeframe to Discuss Sex with Children

27:28 - "They are mature enough to handle more sometimes than what we're sometimes equip to give them, because they can teach us." - Roberta

27:40 - "A lot of times, we're basing our experiences based on our own and what we think our children can handle. But they are evolving a lot more and maturing a lot quicker than maybe we are and so it's not giving them credit to think they can't handle the information. It's moreso us trying to shield them per se of what the real world encompasses without acknowledging they likely already know and have some type of perception or knowledge of these things anyways." - Patrice

30:10 Forgiving Yourself as a Teen Mom

32:07 - I couldn't show up for him and give him me, because I couldn't give me, me." - Roberta

32:28 "It's the root of things.  We have to be okay with the timing of a thing.  However long it takes, I am going to be processed and I am going to continue to make progress, because I must." - Roberta

32:45 - "When you think about generational curses, they are rooted in generations from our forefathers, the ancestors, and we only know sometimes what's before us or maybe just a generation behind us. But we are still held responsible of what came before that, and that's why the forgiveness and the healing has to be a daily decision of 'I am forgiving myself for whatever it is for that day or that moment' because the root is so deep, you're not going to see everything overnight." - Roberta

34:25 - "We don't generally have those conversations because it really calls to the forefront the things that we likely may have already believed in ourselves anyways.  It potentially affirms what we already thought." - Patrice 

34:54 - "Those are the conversations that we get afraid of, it's intimidating because it calls into question our identity.  That's something I always say is that our peace is oftentimes linked to our identity or identity crisis." - Patrice

35:30 What Are We Pushing Forth in the Generation?

35:32 - "We talk about generational curses, but you create a new generational blessing by opening up those dialogues that can be passed on." - Patrice

36:17 - "Those are destiny dialogues. We have to have destiny." - Roberta

36:41 - "Oftentimes, when we are evolving, we want people to evolve or be accepting of us on our timeline, not giving people the space to come into terms, to review the perspective, to kind of look at it from a different lens, in their own space." - Patrice 

40:15 - Final Tips to Transform Teen Mom Related Conflict to Peace

43:37 - "Sometimes people are shamed into being prideful." - Patrice 

43:45 - 'I couldn't grow in pride." - Roberta 

44:07 - "People need other people to evolve. We need other people to help us thrive. - Patrice 

44:16- We self-sabatoge our own peace by not allowing people to support us or asking for the help when we know we need it. It doesn't make us less of a person, it doesn't make us any less of a mother, it doesn't make us any less of a wife, it doesn't make us any less of a co-worker. We are still phenomenally us, even if we're getting the support. - Patrice 

46:30 - "My shame allowed me to ask for help because I didn't want to see myself in this predicament or the situation 10 or 20 years later." - Roberta 

47:05 Rapid Value Questions

What is one thing you like to do to sustain or reset your peace?
- Sleep and write

Name one book or song that's helped you to define peace.
- Starting Here Today by Roberta Axson

How do you define peace for yourself now?
- Being still. 

Fill in the blank:
My name is Roberta Axson and without peace, I'd probably be lost, but with peace, I am free.

52:45 Teen Mom Statistics & Concluding Thoughts