SEASON FINALE | My Why - From Identity Crisis to Peace Pursuit

We all have a reason for the things we do in life, right?  A reason for why we chase after certain dreams, aspire for perfect careers, pray for specific relationships, set goals for our bodies, but...WHY?

The why is so important because it's what separates mere interest or intrigue from passion and purpose.

The Oasis Space isn't just a hobby for me.  It's a lifestyle.  It's an experience.  I am The Oasis Space, and The Oasis Space is me.  The Oasis Space is a physical manifestation of me walking in my purpose.

So, in this season finale episode, I thought it was only fitting to wrap up by sharing with my fellow Peace Pursuits my story...my "why."   I realize I've shared many stories with you about chaos that disrupted in others' lives, but have yet to let you into my world when that pivotal moment of chaos led me to peace.

In my story of heartache, pain, disappointment, and identity crisis, I hope the major takeaway that you gain from it is that there is greatness on the other side & a method to Unleash The Peace!

LINKS:

Engage with Patrice:
www.sociatap.com/ThePeaceCurator
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/ThePeaceCurator
Email: theoasisspace@patricegrimes.com

Follow My Live Like a Local (LLAL) Tour Journey!
IG Stories: http://www.instagram.com/ThePeaceCurator
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvcsC5TX-mjEUGjOk1ZowjQ

Join The Oasis Space - PEACE PURSUITS FB Community:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/theoasisspace

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If you have questions about booking Patrice or sponsoring the podcast:
Email: TheOasisSpace@patricegrimes.com

Transcript

About My Story...My WHY
Hello and welcome to the Oasis Faith, where we disrupt your current chaos with curated
peace. I am your host, Patrice Grymes, also known as the peace creator. And you guys,
this is the season finale. I know it seems like it came so quickly, But, you know, I
Just want to start by telling you all thank you so, so much. You know, when I started this
podcast Journey, I didn't know what to expect.
Honestly, I didn't have All the experience in the world. Quite frankly, I didn't have any
podcast experience, But I knew that I Had a message that I wanted to share. I knew that
I had lives that I wanted to Touch and I knew that I Had some amazing resources in my
corner that could also impact the lives of others. And I didn't want to hoard it for myself.
And so I last here was the Oasis-based podcast.
And I Know throughout several of these episodes, you know, I've emphasized and tried
to Tie in with various Stories and scenarios and incidents, you know, the relevance of
becoming a piece pursuit, the importance of being a Pursue.
And I know I've explained kind of what I do. I may have even explained some of the
topics around what I do. Right. But I don't think I've ever explained the why I do what I
do, you know, the way I am passionate about you all Becoming peaceful pursuits. I don't
think I've ever explained to you all Why this is so important to me, why I continue to
produce the episodes every week, Why I put out the content that I do on
Social media, why I engage with the people I do and live the life that I live. I realized that
I've never really shared with you all the why And oftentimes Then why is important when
you don't realize why people Do what They do. You can oftentimes Underestimate the
passion Of what they're doing And why they so desperately Want to help other people,
why it's so important to them. And so and my family season one finale episode. I
thought it was only Right to Make sure y'all are clear on my why? Because I want you all
to know, you know, I like to be very transparent here in the Oasis space, and I want to
know the real Of what brought me here.
And so With that, I know that We speak again a lot About peace, what it takes
To become a Peace Pursue in various areas Of life. And I know one of the earlier
episodes I explained, you know, the opposite of peace being conflict. Right.
And the struggles of internal versus external conflict. But we didn't go deep into detail
with that. And so I want to do that today through Aleut. What is that? Eighty-five percent
of people in the workplace experience conflict. And of those eighty-five percent, at least
60 percent have not received any basic training on how to address conflict healthily.
Versus those of you that don't know, in my regular everyday life when I'm Not being the
peace creator, Which I'm the peace created all the
Time. Right.
But in my day-to-day nine to five job, I am known as a certified professional with over
twelve years in the human resources industry. And I help employees and managers to
identify effective conflict resolution strategies. But I've learned over these years that
being able to Appropriately address Conflict doesn't Start and end in the workplace. It is
generally an indicator of your identity Or even worse, an identity crisis. And so, Again, I
know You all know me As the peace creator, but I'm also a transformational coach and a
speaker. You know me as the host of the office space. And my goal of this podcast and
the work that I do overall is really to help people find the gateway to life in the most
fulfilling life by not simply knowing how to address those internal and external conflicts
as those Chaotic circumstances Disrupt their lives but learning how to embody.
By embracing Their authentic identity and that's where these podcast episodes tie in,
that's how you understand where my guests tie in when we talk about the piece and
how it relates to being conflicted and body in thatPiece.
But again, as some of you who have been to do with me in this journey the entire
Time, you know, that I like to keep it real. So that means I got to keep it real. Now, let
you know that there was a time that even with All of my education and my experience in
handling conflict resolution, that I did not know how to effectively address conflict in my
personal life. And I certainly did not have any PPIF. So let me tell you, back in October,
twenty seventeen, barely a week after celebrating my birthday, my entire world as I
knew it fell apart. I was dating someone at the time and I went outside to find my
Partner on the phone with Another woman and he had tried to hang up quickly. And I
remember standing at his truck and the look of panic rush over his face. And for me, my
stomach just dropped. I remember thinking, not again, like I Cannot believe we're here
again. She said this was not the first time. This was not the first time we were in this
situation, in this predicament. And so Naturally, I Reacted the way any normal human
being reacts. Right.
Typically, humans winning type of conflict arises. They respond angrily or with
avoidance. So they just avoid the issue altogether. And I responded with Both
All types of yelling and screaming and crying and pleading and cursing. And, you know,
I was pissed, like, I was pissed. And I remember like that, like, I'm like, oh, hell no.
Come up off these Answers, OK?
Like, what is going on here? Help me understand.
Right.
And as we continue through the conversation, that's when I shifted to avoidance. Right.
I shifted to you know what?
I will Desperately accept Any excuse you can provide. And that was
My effort of really trying To, like, keep the peace And Just Help things
Go back to Normal to help me sleep that night.
But the reality is that I did not get any sleep that night because we ended it. And I
remember laying in bed that night crying the entire night, like literally the entire night
crying. And I cried out to the guy, like, why me? God, why does this keep happening to
me? And I don't know If I was waiting for Some magical Response at the time, but I just
remember feeling so lost and Confused and wondering just how did I get myself here
again? Like, I couldn't understand why. I couldn't understand How.
And it just felt unfair. It felt really cruel. Like I felt like God was almost playing a cruel
joke on me because, you know, I thought at that point I had been doing all
The things that he is God, he is My partner wanted to do.
And I thought I have been doing all things, everyone Wanted me to do. But that was the
problem. You see, I completely lost myself to the point where I didn't even remember
the foods I like to eat.
And I remember about a week after we had broken up, that was when I finally had
regained my appetite and I was sitting at this stoplight trying to figure out what I was
Going to eat, because up until then, I Was only eating What my wallet could afford for
the both Of us in that relationship. And oftentimes That would result to be in the Dollar
Menu, you know.
And so not only was I support in this relationship probably the best that I could
physically and emotionally, but financially as well. And so I had come to this point now
where I'm what I felt free. And I know this may sound crazy, but when I tell you I was
legitimately at this stoplight when this rush of emotions came over me and I I burst out
into tears crying and was just like screaming, I'm free. I'm free. Oh, my God. I'm finally
free. Free to the point where I felt like I have options. I have options now to choose
something as simple as what I want to eat for dinner. And even as I was.
Shouting You know, Dad, Let me tell you, somebody, he will get you all the way to get
that. I mean, I could not even get my little rejoice And I'm sitting here
Thinking I'm Free. And he hit me with the little like.
You think you free now? Well, not quite. But if you trust me, you will be. And as I started
thinking, like, wow, I lost myself in that relationship. It's when I realized that I actually if I
was being honest with myself, had lost myself long before that relationship. I'd lost
myself at the age of 13 when I became a preacher's kid and I had learned to be the best
and making my feelings and my challenges in my experiences Insignificant so that
Everyone else's became more substantial. And I would try to perform my way into the
hearts of others. And when I say, like performing my way into the hearts of others, like,
let me break it down, because I know there are several people out there that know what
it's like to try to perform Your way Into the hearts of other people. So for me, it's first
would start with trying to get good grades all the time, trying to make sure I'm on the
honor roll, trying to get all the Griese playing the sports one and to be the best at their
sport, recognize. And then that was what was getting me the attention of the accolades,
saying yes to every work project, even if it meant working 18 plus hours in one single
day just to not say no, because I wanted to show them and prove to them That I was
great and I Was Qualified and I deserved to Be there. Though performing my way into
the hearts of others showed up as lack of boundaries to be able to say no to even
friends or family, because I wanted them to believe that I was this great friend or that I
was this daughter or sister or cousin or whatever that everyone could depend on. And if
I'm being candid, I think performing my way into the hearts of others also Looked like
my way through Sex, oftentimes with people that I was in a relationship with because I
didn't want to do It, but I felt like I needed to for them to stick around. And this is me just
being completely honest like that's what I was doing. And that's what I mean by some
examples of trying to perform my way into the hearts of others. And then I would have
the nerve to be upset when they disposed of me because they no longer saw any value
in me when the truth is, I had never really seen any value for myself. And that's when
you got to begin to show me this Rolodex of my life. And let me tell ya, Chao, let me tell
you, it was tough. Your girl was jacked up, OK? I'm talking about every relationship. My
finances show me the lack of advocacy that I have for myself when it came to job
opportunities and Promotions, just all the confusion that I had, everything like I'm talking
About like you name
It, I had it going on and it was a mess. It was a hot mess. And that's what got was, girl,
you are the common denominator is you like it is you. And so I realized That I really
Been going through this identity crisis for nearly 50 years of my life. And this fear of not
pleasing others have paralyzed me to the point where I couldn't even
Address conflict with Myself, so let alone addressing it with Others.
And that's when I began to realize just how much that inability affected so many areas
of my life. And I came to that realization that I had to ditch performance in exchange for
peace. And so I went on this Journey of pursuing Peace and I was later brought to this
scripture, Matthew, five and nine in the message Bible. And I remember reading this
scripture At least A thousand times in a lifetime.
And anyone that is, you know, knows
Anything about the Bible and the Beatitudes is like the scripture is like blessed are the
Peacemakers, for they shall inherit the earth or something like that. Again, I read their
scripture so many times, so many times, and I never like it. It was like is or whatever. It
didn't resonate with me like That. But this The day I have been Brought to this scripture
in the Message Bible. Matthew five nine. The message Bible is said, you are blessed
When you can show people how to cooperate instead of competing or Fight.
That's when you discover who you are and your place in God's family. Baby, let me tell
you something that was a game-changer For me because it Solidified that peace itself is
rooted in my identity and my identity Specifically was wrapped up In creating peace for
others. And so it just changed everything for me. It changed everything for me. And so I
realized that even as.
I've shared this story
With you guys, there's still going to be people who believe it might conflict primarily
exists in the workplace or between people, between you and your partner, between you
and your boss, between your parents, whatever. But I'm here to tell you that conflict
typically Starts with you As the individual. And I know I've said it before and it bears
repeating, But peace is an Intangible feeling that I believe shows up as tangible results.
And so as we went Through
This phase, I'm constantly reminding you all of what it is to be a peace
Pursuit and what that acronym means.
And so when I Say peace is an intangible feeling that shows up with tangible results, I
believe the results show up in the form of
Being a pursuit is being more prosperous and purposeful. More understanding is being
relationally far-field ECES being secure you are more united as we to discuss like the
community I am more impactful and he is thankful. And so again, those things like a lot
of times people will underestimate the value of peace Because they just think, well, You
know, it's nice to have peace here. And they're right. It's nice to feel at peace.
But when you have peace, it does show up in your fine. It's like the things that I talked
about earlier is how my relationships were like that. My finest was the way that I could
not advocate For myself in my Jobs and in my relationships, the continuous confusion,
yadda, yadda, Yada, like all Those things showed up because my peace was disrupted.
Right. So it's like when you have the peace, that's when you can see the results, those
tangible results where, again, you become more prosperous, you have better
relationships, These reciprocal, reciprocated Relationships. You begin to start seeing
where you have this Community surrounded you that rallies around you And supports
the things that you're doing. You begin to see how your confidence goes through the
roof and you identify who you are, who you're supposed to be. And, you know, I think
they're so vitally important because it's like how you choose to handle Conflict changes
The trajectory of your life. And I know I don't typically talk about my coaching program or
the things service offerings that I Provide aside From this podcast. But that is something
that I've created in my at least a youth program with the program. I desire to help people
learn how to pivot even as chaos ensues. And so, again, I know I share this information
with you On the weekly Podcast. You pivot even as chaos ensues. And again, I will give
you guys examples or I'll have guys Come on the show to provide Some realistic
examples of how they have been able to pivot even as chaos ensued in their life. But
the program is it's a more extensive program and it includes My five five-step to unleash
The peace. And I'm going to share that with you all today. So being proclaims proclaim
that a conflict exists. E is evaluated. You have to evaluate the origin of your beliefs. A is
the address. That means you are addressing the source of your conflict. C is
comprehending where you are going to seek to understand the opposing perspective
and E is in power where I'll teach you how to authorize yourself to choose peace. And
so I truly believe that this method unlocks so many doors for you. My heart desires that
you all receive value from the podcast. But for those of you that recognize and realize,
hey, I need a little more, I do believe this program gives you the more I think it does
exactly what it says. It unleashes the PEV. And so I just actually ought to consider that if
anything has resonated with you today, maybe you did not have a situation as I did of,
You know, a poor relationship has gone wrong. Maybe you didn't grow up as a
preacher's kid, but if you have any idea what it's like to try to perform your way into the
hearts of others if you have any idea what it's like To be a People pleaser and that make
decisions for your self and have your own life constantly being worried about what other
people will think, constantly being conflicted about how you show up based on various
events that have transpired in your Life, then Perhaps this program is. You and I just
hope and pray that it has blessed you that this poxes blessed you because I've enjoyed
doing it. I am truly going to miss you guys while we take this little seasonal break. But I
would love to encourage you all to subscribe. Right. Just subscribe now, if you haven't
already subscribed now so that you will know when I return. The plan is to return in the
fall. So like towards the end of August, early September. And when I saw you I got a fire
line up for you already. We the people will have our season to Be so
Good. So you don't want to miss it.
So that's why,
I want you to go ahead and subscribe. Now, the Nabby plan. I'm a dude is appart
episodes of No Girl Boy Fair woman. Go on, click Thelo subscribe, and stop playing
around. You can get this notification, OK, because I want you all to be here and ready
when we unleash all of this good news on you for season two. OK, I also want you to
know that I'm not just leaving y'all high and dry, all right? Even though you're not going
to have the weekly Podcast for the next couple few weeks, I am Currently on my life as
a local journey. This is my life like a local tour.
For those Of you that don't know what that is, I have been going to several cities across
the Us to Identify areas where I could potentially think of relocating. That doesn’t mean
I'm going to relocate, but I felt it was something that I needed to do to figure it out. Right.
I've been to the DMV all my life and it was something I need to do to determine If
somewhere else Was calling me if my season for DMV was up. So I'm on this life like a
local Journey on this, life Like a local tour. And I have been given Some little, you know,
Live like a local life lesson along the way. But I've also been blogging the experience
and for some of my regular pursuits they know all about and they enjoyed it because it
kind of gives a behind-the-scenes look into my life Like y'all Get the real on the podcast,
but they get in the real OK. They gain in the trees because they give the raw, uncut
version, the version that you see without any makeup on in the morning, in the version
you see where you rely on a girl like I'm not trying to do this called you know, like faking
it all. Plus they're seeing these cities. They're getting Ideas for whenever They decide to
visit Themselves.
And it's just another good way to engage with me. So like I said, in the meantime, while
I'm away, if you haven't been already, you need to follow me on Instagram at the curator
because that's where all my concern is going.
And then I'll Also, be posting the final blog on YouTube. But to see it in real-time, you
just need to go ahead and follow me. Agree with you. Now, are you doing that? OK, and
then lastly, please write and review the podcast. I know some of you listen to this
podcast Faithfully every week, and I think You just forget to write and review. But it is so
helpful. It's helpful for other people if they're searching for similar topics. And it's just it's
Just it's a good way for me to receive some feedback on what you all are thinking as
well. And then, of course, what I always tell you is to share, share, share, share, share
this episode, share another episode you liked, share the whole podcast, Because this
It Will be a good time for not only yourself to maybe go back and listen to an episode
because I do believe That and at various times of our lives we're able to receive the
same message differently. It's like some messages. Give us something else that we
didn't know. We need it at a different point in our lives than I would have a month ago or
two months ago or two years ago or whatever.
So I definitely, Encourage you all to replay some of these. Go back and listen to some of
them, see what other new Jewelz popUp and then also,
Again, share them with people that you're close to, share them with, people that you're
not so close to. Right. Share with whoever you think can potentially Be Impacted by this.
OK, we want everyone out Here to be Peace pursuits in the making. OK, so again, I
appreciate you all so, so much. I'm so honored that you have chosen to spend this time
with me and that I have been rocking out for the last several weeks. It is truly been a
pleasure and an honor and I am so grateful. So. With that being said, you guys, I want
you to live your absolute best life and embody peace without ever compromise your
authentic identity.